All About Me In 80 Questions!!!!!!
Basics
Name. Tanya (after Tania makeup)Mary Johanne (after my maternal grandmothers) Dannielle (confirmation name) Deegens (maidens name) Kelly (Married name).
Nickname. Ms.T, Yoda Guru
Age. 43
Birthday. September 2nd, 1976
Birthplace. Blacktown Hospital Sydney New South Wales
Current Location. At Home In Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Eye Colour. Hazel
Hair Colour. Dark Brown
Piercings. 5 Piercings (2 done by myself)
Tattoos. None. Would love one but worry about getting a bad tattoo artist who will leave me with a tattoo nightmare.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend. Stephen John Kelly (Been Together Since September 22nd, 1995.
Siblings. Brendon (November 25th, 1974), Tracy (April 11th, 1978.
Favs.
Colour. Blue, Medium/Dark Purples, Olive Green, Silver, Charcoal Grey
Music. Music for me is a life line… my tastes in music rely heavily on the feelings and emotions of my day to day life. There are way to many to list.
Sport. As a child I play netball (center, goal attack), softball (out fielder), indoor hockey, & volleyball. I like to watch clay shooting, archery, fencing, diving skeet shooting these days.
Holiday. I someday want to travel to greek islands or go on a Mediterranean cruise. Maybe see fiji, hawaiii, cocos islands or an african village. I am not much of a traveller, I like being home where I feel safe.
Food. I like many varieties of food.. Steak (medium to well), spaghetti bolognese, cavity stuffed chicken, pasta dishes (most)… love bbq food, homemade Chinese
Number. My Favourite Number Has Always Been #3
Movie. Dead Poets Society – Robin Williams
Celebrity. Oprah Winfrey… A person who has steered my thoughts about me being myself in the direction of self acceptance.
Place. Yellow Rock & Woolongong Light House Are My Calming Places
Drink. Love Cocktails, Moscato (wine)..Jack Daniels & Great Northern Beer. Enjoy orange juice, ice water and frozen drinks.
Day Of Week. Friday & Saturdays…. no run days
Month. September because it’s spring – a time for new life to begin… all is new and fresh
City. Sydney… couldn’t imagine being anything other than a Sydney sider.
Animal. Sloth.. cute and sleepy… Meerkatt… cute and sneaky, penguin … awkwardly built and fun to watch
Time Of Day. Morning, The Break Of Dawn… love the early morning quiet time … the waking of the earth and it animal sounds.
Smell. Cup cakes baking & Estee Lauder, Red Door Perfumes & Disinfectant (gives me memories of my grandmother Mary and her always clean floors).
Tv Channel. Foxtel & Music Channels On Foxtel
Song. Cher. You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me
This Or That
Hugs Or Kisses. I like either… but love the comfort of a kiss the build up & longing of tender touch
Pepsi or Coke. Pepsi… coke is harsh
Burger King or McDonald’s. McDonald’s if I had to make a choice
Vanilla or Chocolate. Chocolate not a van of vanilla unless it creamy and not icy
Lover Or Fighter. I love hard… and am willing to fight if I am provoked or if my morals and personal values are challenged
Friends or Family. My Self Made Family Is My Preference … i love everyone that i hold in my inner circle at equal parts of who I am.
Love or Money. Love, money isn’t as important as being with people I love. Love keeps me in grips of riches beyond any value of money.
Listen To Someone Talk or Talking. I love To Listen… but enjoy a deep and meaningful two way conversation
Personality or Looks. Personality… I have known people who are appealing to look at and they are often vein, cold, superficial or just boring. Looks sre nothing… if tour connect with someone the persons being is all that matters
Magazines or Comics. Magazines. Enjoy a good read and catchup on worldy gossip and new trends
Pop Star or Wordup. Word up. As I do Love a mental challenge
Love
Are You In Love. I know my heart was with Steve since I was near the age of 16. My feelings and thoughts of him have never diminished.
Have You Ever Been In Love. Love takes me a long time in finding my security within it… but yes I have been
Do You Believe In Love At First Sight. I Knew That I Loved Steve Before I Truly Knew or Got To Know Him… soo yes indeed I do. I remember telling a friend of our that Steve was going to be the person that I married one day. I made this statement after only meeting Steve on two other occasions.
Longest Relationship. Comming into the 25 year stretch (September 22nd, 1995)
Kiss On The First Date. Depending… but physical connection isn’t the same as the mental and mindfull connection that I seek in others. As a rule usually no.
Ever Cheated On Someone (be honest). Yes… was awakening moment that took me to discovering & understand ing the values and morals that I hold true and dear. We knew our relationship was over but we stayed anyway.
Random
Do You Do Drugs. Nope & Never Have
Do You Drink. Yes I Do .. I like a social drink or two
Do You Have Any Regrets. Yes… Not Becoming The Teacher That I Always Wanted To Be As A Young Child.
Ever Want To Get Married. Wish That Steve & I Did Get Married In 1996. We did marry in October 2000.
Want Kids. Always Wanted 3 & Had 3
– Sean John Les Kelly – August 30th, 1997
– Nichaalus Adam Kelly – April 12th, 2001
– Katijana Mary Margaret Kelly – May 14th, 2006
– Lucas Jack Russell Russell Kelly – February 28th, 2017.
Do You Believe In Yourself. Yes I do… I work hard at learning all about me and the life that I have lived and want to live… I see the value in all that I do for others.
Last Movie You Saw At The Movies. Venom. Was It Good. I didn’t expect to like the movie venom because i am not a Batman or spiderman fan… but I enjoyed venom and it comical story line.
Can You Handle The Truth. I prefer truth and honesty over a made story or answer.. truth hurts at times but real and lasting relationships are made up every little struggle we go through.
Biggest Fear. Dying Alone
Most Missed Memory. Childhood events that I chose to forget to save me from heartache
First Thought Waking Up… arrg what time of day do tou call this? Most days up at 4am
How Do You Want To Die. Holding the hand of Steve… one breath at a time speak nothing but my love for him
Do You Get Along With Your Parents. Yes when our attitudes and differences are aligned
Do You Swear. Yep at times like a sailoYep a puppy. Lucas Jack Russell Kelly (February 28th, 2017) got him at 5 weeks old
Have You Ever Passed Out. Yeah .. once drank a whole ready to drink pack with a friend and slep out my backyard for a few hours. Crashed car back in 1997 and passed out… been sick a many a times and passed out also.
Do You Party. Do when I do.. but not often
Did You Get Good Grades. Yes except for my 10th year when I deliberately set out to fail. Have always been and keen to learn student.
Do You Believe In
God. I believe that there is higher than ourselves.
Religion. We all believe in something… religion may not be the title of our belief…but yes in some ways I do.
Aliens. We cant be the only living things in this entire world and universe… yes I believe there is something out there.
Ghosts. Yes I certainly believe that we when we dye never completely passover for one reason or another.
Afterlife. I at time believe that we live in a world between hell and earth… that we when we passover go to earth or hell.
Myself. Like I said up above… I work hard at learning all about me and the life that I have lived and want to live… I see the value in all that I do for others.
Karma. Yep I believe that there is most definitely an equal, opposite and reactive power to everything that we say, do and am.
Magic. I believe that we all have the ability to be shown differences in the reality of what we are actually supposed to be seeing.
In A Boy
Eye Colour. Any
Hair Colour. Dark
Short Or Long Hair. Either but well taken care of is a preference.
Height. At least- 5 foot 6 and above
l Either way as long as they have meaning and are well represented.
Just Cute Or Sexy. Looks are nothing… personality and honourable behaviour all the way.
Hobbies. I like a man who has interests that he loves, enjoys and wants to share what his experiences are or have been.
One Girl Man. I am not a person who can share.
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There We Go…. some short Q&A’s about me…. I Challenge you to look the above Q&A’s and answer them with yourself in mind… & if you are wanting to know anything else about me… please drop me a line.
Signed
Tanya
it away for good. I have experienced this level of inner shut down before and know that my daily writing’s always take a hit… I choose to not write about my daily thoughts in times like this because all that comes out of me is the negative energy that keeps swallowed up and buried deep within my darkened soul. But what happened to me in the last few weeks is that I took the time I needed.. and I am back here as the new me… ready to put the work in that the new me needs to see.
A funny and slightly rude saying has been playing over and over in my head for the past few days “ I Am Completely Fucking Broken Inside ”
breathing as well as moving through space…. & I also have no interest in living a life with no attachment…this is what I mean by a mixed matched version of a person living her life in line with the Japanese philosophy of Mushin…. for me it is very important that at all time not only remain true to myself but that I must also remain morally in touch with who it is that I am… I didn’t work to be who it is that I have become just to throw it to the winds of a Japanese philosophy that I only partially embrace my heart and arms around… I am for self-acceptance of change… I won’t embrace my new lease on life… I want to embrace the new beginnings of new and reinvented self… living my life where I am not afraid to show the roads of my life that have given me my scars… I don’t want to disguise the history of my yesterday’s… I want to embrace them and build my life around the branches that they have been grafted to.
I wonder have I crossed the line my inner tummy grumbles yell at me and are always reminding me to listen to that I am at the drought filled stages of all that do for others….? will I learn my lesson before I feel the full force of having emptied myself to far…?
c aspects of Dutch culture, whilst others resonate with English speakers despite their cryptic nature.
there but most of that was being done in my scribbling’s and notebook. My scribbled notebook writings unwritten and just like the Dutch word Uitwaaien my written words were not being written and uploaded to my daily blog writings.
You Are My Best Friend,
deep and sometimes mindless written thoughts, I write for myself and for the stories that need to be told… the reminders of our history… reminders and keepsakes for the generations of youngsters that will follow in mine and my ancestors well walked path.
When I write about my story of Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis I write in a personal way… I write about PPMS as if he was a real person , with a real identity…(I have humanised him and even given him a name and a gender, his name is “My Story – and his gender is Male”
I often get asked why it is that I bother to get dressed most days.. not only get dressed in clothes, but why do I bother to attempt to tame my freshly washed hair and make myself up in what has been described as “my life’s colouring book pallet” by one of my closest friends.
What do I mean when I say a short 1..? well a short 1 – no 1000 -3000 long-winded writes.
what the song writer authored them to be… for me the few moments of stolen and solitary time that I find myself lost in the tune where I am spurred on by the thoughts that bring forth moments in my past, moments in my here and now’s or even moments that even I have long since forgotten is the very thing, the connection that I look for when falling for the movement that a song brings to my hearing ears and tune loving heart.
again to what I hear in the tune and what I read in both written and unspoken meaning of each and every word.
The song “In The Ghetto – By Elvis Presley” is for me one of the many songs that have touched my heart, my mind and my thoughts over my life time.
turns to crime, which leads to his death. It was the first song Elvis recorded with a socially conscious message. He was reluctant to do it for that reason, but knew it would be a hit.
So this morning started off in the usual way… school run, catch up with fellow writing buddy’s touch base with a few close friends, answer my phone’s messages… check email (scrap the thought of reading them all, just filter through & move on)…
counselling role… so I informed “Anonymous Poster” that I was indeed a counsellor. I offered “Anonymous Poster” other avenue of gaining support and even offered he/she a counsellor who I thought would be in a far better position to help… but the reply was “
Poster”. Through the song “Reach Out & Touch Somebody’s Hand – By Diana Ross (1970)… I share with you the lyrics of her heart warming words… the words that sung to me this morning when I saw your message appear on my computer’s screen. I will not put a name to you 
I want people to know that there are days where my PPMS Diagnosis & its alter ego “My Story” get together and kick my ass from one end of my days path to the very end of its last second of its days time. There are days when I am left feeling pushed beyond my limits, there are certainly days when I question who it is that I am and who it is that I will become, and of course I do grieve for the life that I had, the hours that I spent playing with my kids, the hours I worked hard to bring home a pay check that would buy my family new adventures and new foods to try, I will forever have the memory of jumping into my car – turning up the stereo and zipping down the road to a place that comforted my soul… but in the end I am not unhappy for all the things that my PPMS has altered, varied or taken away… I know that I can still do these things, I just now have to be aware of how go about things & how I use up my daily energy allotment.
Signed
There was a small part of me that talked above my questioning self, this part of me knew that I wasn’t going crazy.. some how this part of me kept me from cracking under the weight of my own self’s pressure…. my body too knew to well that there was something not right… it was my mind, my thoughts and my very deep thinking’s that had to play catch up with what was going on.
many times folded socks (I have small feet and my socks have a mind of their own, together “My Story” and my socks work hard at pissing me off), but I give them a mouthful.. throwing my sox into the washing basket screaming you deserve far worse treatment but maybe a spin in the washing machine will teach you who is boss..
PPMS & its day-to-day struggle… I get up everyday knowing that at this moment in time that there is no cure for Ms, that there is only trials, treatments and day to day struggles…
and the spinal cord). … The progress, severity, and specific symptoms of MS in any one person cannot be predicted.
I will put it to you way ….
and a plan for action with hope with deter the bully’s from their not so funny hurtful ways.
knuckle down and get my studies, my homework & my assessments done. My life outside my school life was a busy one, having many day trips with friends, going to the club disco’s and dancing all nite, many get togethers, bbq’s and birthday party were always a hit… swimming and travelling to the beach.. I wont mention driving unlicensed or for that matter to fast… cb radioing over the weekend to friends near and far… yep I was a normal teenager with normal interests and hobby’s…. but I liked to do school work and I loved to sit and read, preferring reading over drinking and blowing my brain cells out at a drug fuelled party. I preferred to have my school life and friends to be separate to that of my weekend/home friends… I liked that I had my sanctuary of friendly faces in my down times and downtrodden moments.
I also had a semi nerdy look for a while – I wore glasses for many years… until a volleyball smacked me full on in the face – smashing my glasses and my security blanket… “a volleyball attacking me gave me the strength and courage to allow me to take my glasses and put them in the garden bed of my homes front garden.
There were so many of these moments that I stood out to a bully… I have had my bag emptied, my earring ripped out of my ear, money and processions taken & at one time I was even escorted home by my bully’s crew… then there was the time when I was set upon by an ex-friend who decided that she needed to give my 2 day old appendectomy wound a “does that hurt touch test.”
enough and I decided after seeing one of my bully’s alone in a laneway that I would ask her “why on that day was she leaving me alone?” – I followed her asking her over and over the same question – I must have become annoying because she turned around and trying to smack me a good one… I did say try… funny how her crew kept me from stepping back on our usual hit slap sessions… grabbing her hand I made her smack herself and asked her “how she was feeling.. & did she want another?”.. of course she said “I don’t want to fight you… leave me alone…” the more she asked the more she just accidently hit herself… funny enough that was one bully down…
I believe that you should always walk away from a fight or a bully attack… but I believe that I had taken enough.. 8 months of day to day bullying … she had to be stopped.
Are you surprised to hear that I have been known to be a very out spoken person in defence of others who do not have the voice that I have… people who know me know that I don’t stand for the tournaments of bullies… I myself was bullied as a teenager for reasons varying from my inner quietness to having to much knowledge to people being threatened by my way of doing things… truth be told it will never matter what or who you are to others their will always be someone in your days daily walk who is going to stand and question your ways as a person.
am guilty of allowing others the way of burrowing under my skin, I am guilty of allowing the spoken words of into my mind, heart and soul – allowing them the access and ways to alter who it is that I am…. & the worst part of me not being immune to these moments is that when I get my backup and stand for my right to be who it is that I am… & when I stand and become defensive of these judgments and judgemental moments I open myself 
to more scrutiny and the barrage of people’s questionings… sadly I have often been seen as the instigator, or the game player or even the bully’s bully.
I am also guilty of staying strong and sticking to myself in these testing times and allowing myself to seem as though I am unaffected by the words and actions of others… often taking myself out of social settings to save face or to make the environment a less bitter and hurtful place. Easier said and not so easily done in the true practice of things I know… these testing days are a game that has us walking a fine line between allowing others to cast no judgements against us – standing up for oneself & ignore what we hear and feel and just let the actions of others be like water of a ducks back.
“My advice to you would be for you to stay true to yourself – without diversion and without fear of who you know you are… I know that sticks and stones do in fact break bones & I know oh to well that the words of others last a life time in ones soul.
& of course the answer is yes ! yes I do very much care and I have a great big giving heart that want nothing more than for me to be accepted for who I am… ( I don’t want others to accept me or love me bout of obligation)… love me or hate me… be my friend or just stay out of my face !
learn that being the strong person that I am often makes me stand out and often makes me a target to the testing times of others… in the words of country singer Kenny Rogers ” You’ve got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away and know when to run.”
authority (I hear that this can often make things worse).. find yourself that go to person… someone will hear you.
– Avoidance. Take a different route home… (steer yourself out of a bullies path… self- preservation isn’t a sign of weakness its a sign that you just want to be left alone… hopefully they will get the message and get bored and find something else to occupy their time).
Bullying will never be an exact science… bullying doesn’t come with a clear definition of what it is or how or why it occurs… education on what bullying is and how it affects others is key… reminding people of the consequences of what bullying can create is often a big lesson and an even bigger learning factor that that help to detour people away from bullying.
– bystanders themselves have a choice here also.. choosing to stand in and pull the victim of bullying out can put you in danger also .. but choosing to stand as a witness makes you no better than the bully themselves… bullies hate audiences and stronger groups of people…
away, and some are meant to be in the sky, and not in your mind.
The concept of crone existed tens of thousands of years ago, when women’s life patterns were broken up into in three stages — Maiden, Mother, and Crone. The Maiden was the youthful, independent woman. The Mother was a woman who guided others, as a biological mother or as a teacher. The Crone was the postmenopausal woman who enjoyed a special, revered status. This elder woman was viewed as a fount of wisdom, law, healing skills, and moral leadership; her presence and leadership were treasured at every significant tribal ceremony and each personal occasion from birth to death. (Reference – 
content that would entice my readers and my fellow bloggers to my daily writes. I came into the challenge of writing everyday with nothing more than my heart on my sleeve and a hope that I would do nothing more but appease my own love of writing but what I found was a comradery and a group of people who spend their days and nights writing their own daily posts and then turned their hands to supporting the rest of our writing group… inspiring & supporting the worded journey of all our fellow writers.
sat weekly in the company of each of us, gathering to write and listen to the words that we offered to share had indeed developed into personal relationships built on the mutual love of our written words.
friends and support systems to each other long after our 355 Day Blogging Challenge is ended. Many of us will continue to write and share what at the beginning of our weekly writing group brought forth many hidden away thoughts and feelings.
pen again have become a calmer and a happier person inside & outside of myself. I have also noticed that my frustration levels have been able to take on an attitude change … I can see how much the burdens of my thoughts and feelings have been redirected and changed … they have been given permission to have their say.. to say from the heart what I have always dared not to say & at some unknown point my deep thinking’s and my writings became the changed and an awakening to all I held in deep. 
I was gifted a present for Christmas.. from my blogging buddy Lauren, Her gift was a 365 daily affirmation calendar by Louise Hay – Titled “I Can Do It.”
Firstly this pictured quote that I am found strength in writes:
This pictured quote is a quote that I found whilst looking for memes that relate to Multiple Sclerosis.
This pictured quote depicts what it is that I have leant this week in my trying times and how I should prevent a repeat of this week happening ever again.
After a span of nearly 2.5 years I get a phone call from a local police officer seeking me out… he proceeded to tell me his name and told me that he has in his company at his own personal home my Mother-In-Law who had given him my name and asked for his to give me a call… he told me how he got my number (she was unable to provide that) and proceeded to say that my Mother-In-Law had presented to him confused claiming that she no longer lived in the house that she has lived in for nearly 8 years… that was located just across the way… as my Mother-In-Law and the police officer were neighbours he did for her all he could… after making her feel supported safe and comfortable he called me and tells me that my mother-in-law was asking for me that I would know what to do for her in her time of need.
Today as I was researching for written thoughts for my daily writings & here is what it said:-
other than myself and my hearts beating conscience… can I move towards forgiveness even if it means that I am the only one that will actually have the memories of my 25 years of hurtful and family altering pain…? Only time will tell I guess… but I know one thing for sure and that is no matter which way I sway… “either I go to her or I don’t – either I find it in me to forgive her – or I choose that I cant” fences and bridges cannot be mended and rebuilt sitting on my ass in front of my computing seeking answers from this very blog post…. I have pep talked myself long enough.. and I have made the choice to go visit with her again and go from there after we have good old heart to heart.
I have over the many years since my diagnosis had many a tough days but honestly nothing like I have experienced in the last 5-7… my fatigue levels have been through the roof and my body has been playing tiddlywinks with my body’s capabilities and abilities… I can’t remember ever being so damn tired… my week has been a never-ending revolving door of “Wake Up ==> Pretend That I’m Ok ==> Sleep…. & Repeat “… it would be great if all my fatigue symptoms gave me the sleep that my required.. but nope… I can’t tell you how overwhelmed I have been by my bodies fatigue levels.
moment. The moods that bring forth the need for an attitude adjust have delivered me many hours of self-inflicted isolation… I have found that this past week was a week where people need not have been around me… how truly hard-hitting has my Ms kick ass attacks have been on me this week are unmeasurable…
lap this week… because I have not only had extreme heated body temperatures taking me out of the realm of my comfort levels… I have also had moments where my temperatures plunged to the ground and had me putting my cardigan and socks on and off… I must have looked like an igloo man coming out of the Antarctic lands straight into the desert waste lands and only to return back again to blazing sun heat days.
have learned how I have been and continue to be affected by my life’s well trodden 
365 Day Somethings 