Day # 80 – Way To Go Ms… “You Kicked My Ass & Took Me To The Peek Of My Tolerance”

What a week hey… such an exhausting week both mentally and emotionally… spurred on by Australia’s sunburnt country weather…

This week in Sydney the temperatures have ranged from 36 – 45 degrees… the days are long and spent eating ice-blocks and sucking the cool air up from the air conditioner… our fans are busily working overtime and there never seems to enough cool air or personal space for the airspace around any of us.

So this week in the long hours of 36-45 degree temperatures and the extremely high humidity of 98%, I have learned what having Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis truly is and how it alters you as a person.

I have over the many years since my diagnosis had many a tough days but honestly nothing like I have experienced in the last 5-7… my fatigue levels have been through the roof and my body has been playing tiddlywinks with my body’s capabilities and abilities… I can’t remember ever being so damn tired… my week has been a never-ending revolving door of “Wake Up ==> Pretend That I’m Ok ==> Sleep…. & Repeat “… it would be great if all my fatigue symptoms gave me the sleep that my required.. but nope… I can’t tell you how overwhelmed I have been by my bodies fatigue levels.

Being tired and having feelings of feeling overwhelmingly tired hasn’t helped me or my attitude much this week… possibly a trigger to what has been a mammoth kick ass Ms moment. The moods that bring forth the need for an attitude adjust have delivered me many hours of self-inflicted isolation… I have found that this past week was a week where people need not have been around me… how truly hard-hitting has my Ms kick ass attacks have been on me this week are unmeasurable…

Right now it is a lot cooler here in Sydney.. but sadly the temperatures will spike again next week… & as you can see the humidity is still pretty high… but the temperatures have cooled the mountains that I live in by well over 20 degree’s…

I think I have had my ass handed to me this week… for the first time in 5 years my Ms and my lack of empathy driven body has felt the heat and the full force of its agonising symptoms…

I guess I now know what extreme heated days , fatigue & Multiple Sclerosis can do to a person… what I haven’t said is that I have also lived with my light weight cardigan in my lap this week… because I have not only had extreme heated body temperatures taking me out of the realm of my comfort levels… I have also had moments where my temperatures plunged to the ground and had me putting my cardigan and socks on and off… I must have looked like an igloo man coming out of the Antarctic lands straight into the desert waste lands and only to return back again to blazing sun heat days.

I know that there will be days when my Ms symptoms will spend the days peeking to their highest levels of annoyance… pushing my pain level and my tolerance to the to the highest level of my pain threshold… but I am optimistic & hoping for a better week.. emotionally, physically, mentally & socially… this Truly was my worst week ever since my Ms Diagnosis… I am hoping to not have many more of these days… “Here’s Hoping For A Better Week.

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Signed
Author. Tanya Kelly
365daysomethings.wordpress.com