“Re-Reading My Own Chapters”

As I wrote in an earlier blog post of this week; my last few weeks have had my tied up in a few inner and 3rd party struggles that had me feeling very overwhelmed. As the days went by and my usual happy self chose day after day to not show up, I began to question myself and overall state of mind.

I have struggled before but something was different on this occasion… being told that I was quite possibly in a rut… tiring myself out for reasons only known to me just fueled the fire that had me on the back foot of my own calmness… looking at my own self from a far for the moment of peace that I usually found in the hours that I usually sat down and wrote for… but as the days went on; even my daily writings failed to the peaceful place that I exist in when I write.

Staying in my RUT or BAD MOOD … call it what ever you will… it came clear to me that the only thing that could do any good for me was to allow the time to pass all on its own… it was time to let go of my own selves expectations and let the days hours pass and let my schedule go with them…

Then as quickly as I let go of my inner struggles and that schedule that had me overwhelmed and seeking a quiet & solace place for my thoughts to write… I knew that I had to take a break from my writing also, purely because I was putting a lot of energy, energy that I didn’t have to keep up with my many daily writings.

What snapped me out of my own inwardness was a combination of things… some I have just this week written about in my blog, but the following write up that came across my desk helped me to find my footing and my minds solace and my writing voice.

This post meme written by E.V. Rogina Agathokakological – an author for TheMindsJounal.

The written verse in the meme read like this: –

I am still learning
how to go back & reread
my own chapters
without feeling like I
want to set all of my pages
on fire.

I knew that I had to give my mind & body their space to reboot and regain their mindfulness & will to return to life’s grind stone, something came over me & I became trusting of the unknown… I knew that I would soon be ok and that my pen & it’s ink would soon enough to fill my page.

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“Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience. It isn’t more complicated than that. It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without clinging to it or rejecting it. Author – Sylvia Boorstein”

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I am so glad that the last few weeks and the overwhelming feelings that have encircled them have now passed… I am feeling contented in my own mind & body… my soul is again at peace… & of course; here I am back at my desk attending to my daily writings.

SignedAuthor. Tanya Kelly

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