“Is My Condition Part Of What Makes Me… Me ?”
So to answer the question put forward at the beginning of this daily write:- “Is My Condition Part Of What Makes Me… Me ?”
Well the answer is yes… yes of course my condition & diagnosis of Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis is part of who I am… but not in terms of “Am I Who Is It Is That I Am Because I Have Been Diagnosed With Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis?” Well the answer to this is no, no my PPMS hasn’t made me who it is that I am & I certainly do not write about the things that I write about in my daily scrawling’s because of my Ms.
Some Background To My Daily Writings
I have been writing since I was very young & I have always written at some level for these many years but on January 9th, 2018 I took up my daily writings as part of an agreement that I made with myself. (I wanted to start up journaling again but was seriously concerned about the safety and security of my writings because some years ago my journal was stolen and handed around my teenage community of friends – from that moment I vowed to never journal again).
So in January last year I started writing on a daily bases and submitted my daily thoughts at http://www.750words.com… this writing forum was locked by a username and password… so I began writing and submitting my daily scrawling’s and felt secure in doing so.
So time rolled in and I was already dabbling in my thoughts of blogging… but there was no way that I was going to post what I had been writing about in my 750words.com’s daily postings… some of it was ok to use… but there was a degree of “personal anonymity that I want to keep.. for both me and my writings sake.”
I was so bogged down by my initial setup of my blog because I wanted to use my web design skills to create a website/blog that was all mine… I was do weighed down by the designing process of my blog that I becoming very overwhelmed by the whole idea of blogging, so I bit the bullet and put my design wants aside and began a free blogging site with http://www.wordpress.com – a site that is today known as 365 Day Somethings (https://365daysomethings.wordpress.com).
What I write about at 365 Day Somethings isn’t all about my diagnosis of Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis… there are posts about my PPMS but it rates the occasional mention and only from time to time.
Before I was diagnosed with PPMS I was a writer with much to say… but writing poetry & daily journaling was where I was in my wants for my writing journey.
As a child I did have ideas and or thoughts of becoming a journalist or a columnist but these parts of my secret thoughts and wants for my life were avenues and aspirations that I never pursued.
So before blogging and daily writings at 750words I was a web designer and the occasional writer of poetry… & when I say occasional writer of poetry what I mean to say here is that I probably have a few hundred pieces of written pieces that I have written over the past years.
After my actual diagnosis of PPMS I do think that I became more serious about my writing abilities and my wants for my many stories and hidden thoughts to be written…
There was a part of me that thought that my stories would be of some comfort to my Family and Friends in the event that my PPMS was to take a turn… I wanted to write and share the things that I kept within and didn’t share freely with others… I suppose that you could say that I saw a need to get writing and to finally download my many thoughts.
So in terms of the question at hand “Is My Condition Part Of What Makes Me… Me ?” Mmm… like I said … yes no and maybe in a small way it it… but I have always had a writing voice and I have always had an opinion about many things… but I do feel that I dont use my writing voice, my many daily writing avenues and my diagnosis of PPMS to have my say… in fact I more of a “prolific personal writer – an author of many writings “ but in saying that I am not a writer that chooses to write about things that are going on in and around the world… I have written about things in a more open stance before but I feel that my writings could be seen as a “personal collection of memoir elements that put together will tell the many stories of who it is that I am.”
Writing about my Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis is a small part of who I am, there us apart of me that want to write as a Warrior and a voice of Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis… I do have moments where I want to use my writing abilities to bring a voice and an awareness to Multiple Sclerosis and the life altering symptoms that causes Ms’ers the many limitations that’s its diagnosed disease brings… yes there is a part of me that has a want to advocate for the awareness, the education and the voice for Multiple Sclerosis… but I selfishly want to tell the stories of how my own personal journey and diagnosis of Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis affects and impacts me, my loved ones, my immediate family and my many friends near and far.
My personal stories will with hope become my personal memoir… a story of who I am that will in some sort of left handedness will serve to educate others about the fight and cause of the disease know as Multiple Sclerosis.