One of my pinterest pins had the following self reflection set of questions that I though was very interesting. So I sat down and began to answer the questions that were being asked and I thought that my answers and the website were worthy of sharing.
The website offers up 100 questions that are titled “100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions” divided into 10 separate sections of 1o questions in each section.
The website & its questions can be seen here at Its All You Boo – By Author
I personally have sat down to undertake the challenge of answering Nadalie’s reflective questions as I feel that they will help to settle me in the year of 2019 after helping me to reflect on 2018.
In today’s daily blog post I will be looking at the third set of 10 questions of Nadalie Bardo’s “100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions” – a set of questions that Reviews Your Emotions on the year that has just past.
Whether you like it or not, you cannot reach your goals on your own! The people in your life will either encourage and support you, or bring you down and destroy you. It’s okay if some friendships die, some relationships come and go, that’s okay!
(copied from Nadalie Bardo’s “100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions.”)
51. Who did you spend the most time with?
No guesses for who it is that I spent the most time with in and throughout the year of 2018… My hubby Steve of course… there are very few days now when we are not in the company of each other… I never thought that I would ever see the day come when I was to be 100 in the company of 1 person… since my PPMS diagnosis i have seen a rise in my needing certain things done for me rather than me doing them for myself… I never thought that being partially dependent on another would be a place that I would find myself in, but alas here I am.
Of it wasn’t for my PPMS I know that my reliance on Steve wouldn’t be as great as it is now… we would both for one be holding down full time work loads & be busy raising our family along side each other as we have always done… but PPMS has made me a little less self able and given me the strength and will power of the man that I married.
We are together a lot these days & my yearn for him to be near me when he is away is just as strong as it has always been…
There are times when I long for my own space… but who knew that being around someone who is with you for long periods of day would never truly grow old.
Of course the other people that I spent a large portion of my 2018 days with are my online friends… “yes I do very much believe that my online friends are as true to me in their friendship just as they would be if they knew and were around me in person.”
52. Who are the top 3-4 most influential people in your life?
Influential people mmmm tough one…
Influential Person or Identifying Person #1
A few years ago I gave a name and an identity to my Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis – I named him “My Story – Ms for short.”
He has taught the art being impatient in intolerance …he arms me daily with a bucket load of both each day in hopes that I would learn to let things come and go but never taken them along for the ride… but I think that his lessons are very much frugal… for right now tolerance and patience are not in my makeup.
”My Story” has also taught me much about myself in and around my return to my daily writings… he has given me the strength and currage to the push the toughest of writing days. My Story made be a made up subconscious level of myself but he is just as real as the diagnosis that he plays out. Of course “My Story” is influential to me.. he has taught me much about myself: both in the good and in the bad… “My Story” has taught me how patient in something I can be and in how very impatient I can be in others. My attitude has always been pretty much that of a tough cookie but “My Story” has shown me the greater depths of my intolerances… he certainly pushes me to see myself in ways that are reflective and very open roar & vulnerable.
Influential Person(s) #2
There are a few people that will be listed here… singing artists who have given me the inner strength to see myself for who it is that I am in spite of and in the wake of all that has been thrown at me.
Cher – “ You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me” & Strong Enough “ – A dedication to my inner strength and determination to live through my own diversities.
Sara Bareilles – ” Brave ” – I love the lines Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out Honestly I wanna see you be brave… – I think it’s refreshing to hear people speak their truths whilst being brave in the deliverance of their thoughts and words & it’s even more refreshing that someone would ask someone to speak their mind rather than deterring a person from sharing their thoughts and feelings.
Pink – “Raise Your Glass” – I just love this song and its beat… the very fact that its a song for the struggling underdogs that strive to be the best people they can be is worthy of celebratory cheers. Pink gives me the strength that lets me celebrate me in my life’s journey.
Kelly Clarkson – her heartthrob power ballads are songs that empower me through my self-growth and the rebuild of my scorned soul. Kelly Clarkson brings to me a great piece within myself, showing me that with the right person and warmest heart that I couldn’t rebuild myself by gaining inner strength and learning to lean on the love of my life who has pledged to my hearts lifelong support. – Because Of You is the backbone of my husband Steve who has stood beside me, without a wavering heart but with full commitment to us being 1. Even when times were tough you stood fast and worked tirelessly to prove you meant every vow in your pledge to me, all alone standing with me and beside me building us up Piece By Piece. Because of Steve I never strayed too far from the sidewalk (from his heart and our unity).
Delta Goodrem – “ Sitting On Top Of The World “ – Delta Goodrem – Delta’s Child Of The Universe Album & song Sitting On Top Of The World gives me an inner strength that keeps me from folding my hands in my lap – preventing me from giving in & giving up. Showing me that I had to save myself so that I could be sitting on top of my own world.
Tina Arena’ – Tina Arena’s album “Reset” not only rebuilds my love for her, but it shows that she has reset herself into a place where her songs rejoice in every word she sings. She gas rebuilt herself from her inner scars and delivered herself back to greatness.
” Coming Home ” – Sheppard – Coming home helps me celebrate my journey of me returning to a place where I am whole again, and comfortable in my past. A celebration of me returning back to me.
These woman have given to me anthems that have delivered me from my moment of darkness and despair… moments where I sat questioning why things in life have to always to plentiful In toughness.
These anthems have given me the strength to slow my tears to fall and they given me even greater strength to stand up once more to the struggles that knock at my door.
Music & its artists play a very meaningful part in keeping my head above water. Reminding me on a regular basis that today’s struggles will lead me through to better tomorrow’s, that there is no calm before a storm… that I in the wake of their written anthems will rise to fight another day.
Influential Person(s) #2
Oprah Winfrey – she has given me so much strength over the years, teaching me that I need not stand on the side lines of my own like looking at myself as a victim… Oprah saw me through many journeys of my life including my Higher School Certificate Years (yr 12) where I used much of her work on racism in my final end of year project… Her open heart and giving personality at times made me cry & I have often wondered if she ever felt as empty and as lonely as I do when all the handing out where done. She proves that through diversity that there are those who shine through and are able to bestow upon others the gift of unconditional humanity and open hearted selfless giving.
Robin Williams – inspired me through “Dead Poets Society” to make up my own mind who it is that I wanted to be… forcing me to own my thoughts & putting out my hands in front of me to work hard for what my dreams and life wanted for me.
He taught me that regardless of my social, academic and family standards that indeed had a choice of who I wanted to be, giving me belief in myself that I could step out of my norms and be the person that I knew I was deep within myself. I never wanted to be a conformist and I certainly didn’t want to be an envelope pusher… but I do and have always know who I am.
Robin Williams if I could honour you today I would stand on my desk and shout “Captain My Captain” applauding you until I can no longer see you walk the stair to heaven… but instead I write these words to you… “you lived your acting career out playing and portraying the characters that gave the legacy of truth and honesty… standing tall to the right for each of us to stand for our own selves, finding our own voices, being a slave to no one & to no lie debilitating illness.”
Influential Person #3
There is no greater influence in my life than that of my Husband Steve… he hasn’t always been the strongest person in our coupled relationship & whilst I miss the sensitive and naïve side of him, I am so glad to see the strength in him appear.. I am glad that he is finally standing tall and allowing no one to push into their way of thinking – he always had a voice but now it can be heard. he stands tall on his own horizon allowing no-one to push him past his comfort zone & or to turn him into the shapeless & defenceless person that they wanted him to be.
Mentioning Steve Last doesn’t give him less meaning to who he is in the meaning of influences in my life… he knows who he is to me and has proven his work , strength and commitment to me in so many ways over the years.. through the many hurdles of our relationship he has stood beside me, ran the gauntlet & has led us through to the clearing where he has told me… one more hurdle that he come through.. together we are strong.
Be last person listed here is a dedication to him… he is the most abounding strength & love in my world.
53. Did you have a go-person? Someone you can always count on?
My go to person has been and always will be my Hunby Steve… 25 years of togetherness and many thousands of struggles later… I know wha hasn’t divided us has certainly made us stronger.
When when he should look at me from the corner of his eyes, questioning my thought process or moments of manic mindless moments; he sits and chooses his words carefully and gently assures me that I must know what I am doing.
When the sunrises and days are tough he sits in my shadow and lets me blurt out my huff… and when the days tears have been shed he lends a helping hand in cleaning up the shell of me that was just sprawled all over the floor.
Steve and I have been together for so many years now; we know each others every unspoken words … so for me go to person doesn’t always have to have anything to share or say.. he just needs to be there in the moment… offering up nothing more than a guaranteed he will always and forever be where it is that he belongs; right by my side.
54. Is there anyone you could have apologized to but didn’t?
I lost someone special to me just awhile back… she was my wall that I screamed at when I need to let go… we shared so much over the years & she often told me that Family wasn’t just those made of your blood…
I never let her finish this statement… for my reply could have not been said in words… she wore her honour of words on the outside of her heart… she was a treasure and a life support that never asked for much.
What do I have to apologise for you ask? Nothing that I myself have done but sometimes I find that I apologise for the shortening of time That she had to gift to others the unconditional and open arms that she always had in wait for me. I wish sorry or an apology could have kept you here on earth, you had the greatest amounts of love to give…
There is one other apology that I could have made to a group of people that meant so much to me… I sat away and distant from your aching hearts and made no promise to bring closure to the distance in our hearts.
I learned the hard way that I could live without them… rarely again seeing them… but often hearing their name…
I would if I could apologise to them for learning to live without them I would… they taught me the toughest of life’s lessons “all relationships spoil at the hand of something far greater in need” … I will never stop loving them… but I have indeed learned to live without them. I dont seek their understanding and my apology needs no forgiveness.
55. Did you have a falling out with anyone?
I did in deed fall out with a few people throughout 2018…
For me falling out with people that I have admired for so long has left me hurt and feeling lost, but I have come to realise that my time for and with them was very meaning & I will always be grateful for the love that they gave to me & my family… but thing including relationship are not always guaranteed to last forever… sometimes things just out live their course of time.
I also moved away from my study group that saw me through to the trying hours of my studies… we were pushed and pushed hard to finish and when we became pushed we pushed each other harder… something gave and we all finished our studies with days to spare… sometime those who push us cannot see themselves in out pathway because the struggles were to great a pain to see a way through… when I do talk of my study group I peak of them fondly and simply say our pathways were meant to cross and now we are walking in the same direction just on different roads.
56. Which relationships feel apart, which came alive?
What relationships came alive in 2018? the love and community of my self made family… in the gathering and giving to each other we learned what our strengths and needs were… & the relationships that feel apart in 2018 were those that themselves were not strong enough to hold on… they gave it their all… and their memories will always be fond… but sometimes things in life just run their course in time… friendships and relationships don’t end they just take on different meanings and altered destinations & paths.
57. Was anyone toxic or destructive to you?
What’s the definition of toxic?? My definition is “someone who chooses to forgo your right to have a mindful choice and decides to let the wind out of my sails by belittling my thoughts and beliefs.”
There is so much ignorance and distollerance in others that the overwhelming feelings that it brings me have had to learn to run their course of my many years.
Yes of course there are people that I could name for their toxic or apposing attitudes that exist in difference to mine but that would giving them a red flag to my inner workings… I will hand them a win!
58. How did you give back or contribute to your community?
Throughout 2018 I volunteered for a youth mentoring program and loved the children that I met. They were high school students living in my area who had wonderful idea that led them to giving back to the elderly generation being taken care of by caring staff at a local nursing home/retirement estate.
I also volunteered in the capacity of personal tuition time for those in need to learn emailing and the internet… I gave to people rather then asking for payment because I love to see the lights of people and need for learning turn on.
I also gave tuition in other areas of computer work i.e.. web designing and blogging.
I am dedicated to helping others.. and I very much love to help those who have the drive to help themselves.
59. How much time did you spend with your family or loved ones?
My relationship with my Family, Friends & Loved one’s are the very things that keep me as a person into being the person that I am … the giver, the protector, the participant… they all mean much to me.. each person in their own ways & in their own capacity… those who know me know that I treasure those who I allow into my inner circle… and those who I have on my outer circle I also have much admiration for. I spent a lot of time with many people that I know and love… they all come with their own troubles and moments of love… maybe 2018 was a year where I spread my time with everyone evenly but I was there and here I remain.
60. Who supported you and helped you grow the most?
There are to many people to mention here … and their reason may be big and others maybe small… but the definition of growth ad help of another no matter how big and or small is always a welcomed gift.
Steve and my kids have seen me through many hours of personal growth… and possibly more hours of days when I was lost… they are my main supporters, they are present everyday and when the days get hard we regroup and pickup where we left off.
My study group saw me through to my the end of my (then) studies & whilst we have taken on different paths I know that I wouldn’t have pushed as hard as I did without them being my wing men.
I was gifted a motorised scooter by a charity that I will not name her and a tax agent that was helping me mum with her yearly tax… together they have tried hard to return some of my lost independence… whilst I am not 100% without resistance I am grateful and I am able to see the valuable gift that I have been given.
My Ndis Man “Smile” and My lawn mowing man “Syd”…. they deserve merit badges… how beautiful can two souls truly be… yep they are doing their jobs… but it’s the extra miles and their continued support that sets them above all of the help that could be given.
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Now that you’ve taken time to review your relationships, which ones do you need to invest in? And which relationships do you need to distance yourself from in 2019? What are your relationship goals?
Which relationships do I need to invest in? all of them.. even in the toughest of times nurturing the very relationships that have moulded me into the person that I am is worthy of the strength and struggles to work through the days that allows the stormy waters to rush in….. “no-one should be left behind” even the weakest link can prove to be strength in a broken chain.
2019 has me still looking inward to myself… my writing and my return to my writing has been the strength that I have needed in the rebuild of myself… “those who can not and will not allow room for my writing – my life’s storied mission are the very people that need to take a seat on my outer circle”.. I have given much to the people that I love and know… and now I ask that I be allowed with unconditional grounds and rules to be aloud to give to my self and my inner mind.
My relationship goals are simply to allow others to see my journey as a writer, talk about how I need to be nurtured by my written mind and allow my written thoughts to take on a place within me.. all on their own.
Working within my Self made Family to continue their growth and independence, giving them the room to explore themselves and their own needs is my goal for this year… giving them a guided rope and saving enough energy to see them be pulled back to safety when needed.
But more importantly and hard as it sounds… those who value and love me will make the effort to be part f my world… it is my No#1 to except a 50% share of the responsibly and not that of the 100% effort and responsibility that I usually take upon myself.
So there it is questions 51 to 60 of Nadalie Bardo’s “100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions – Part 6 – Refection Questions Of Your Relationships.” Tomorrow I will explore Part 7 of Nadalie Bardo’s “100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions – it’s title “Questions For Your Career.”
I look forward to exploring more of Nadalie Bardo’s “100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions, the end result and or outcomes of my honest reflections of me and my year of 2018 will certainly be an interesting 1.
So how about it…. Challenge yourself to Nadalie’s ” 100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions. ” here at her blog ” Its All You Boo ”
Author. Tanya Kelly
©Nadalie Bardo – “100 Personal End of Year Reflection & Review Questions. https://itsallyouboo.com/personal-end-of-year-reflection-and-review-questions/?fbclid=IwAR1ZDh24uBWoypAJZF7BiaJLg-_327R0LQsNC9mUGOR_VhfZESduAfOMWyQ