Day #48 – ″ Suddenly “

Todays daily blog post is based upon a song called “Suddenly – By Angry Anderson”

Here are the lyrics – (Watch The Video Clip Here)

I only dreamed that I would find
A loving heart, an open mind to see the real me
And I hoped that you would be the one

A chance to talk, a chance to grow
I’ll take the risk, let my feelings flow
I’ve found the words I need to say

Suddenly you’re seeing me just the way I am
Suddenly you’re hearing me
So I’m talking just as fast as I can to you
Suddenly every part of me needs to know every part of you

Now I know that you are mine
You bring me your love and peace of mind
You see the real me and I know that you’re the key

Suddenly you’re seeing me just the way I am
Suddenly you’re hearing me
So I’m talking just as fast as I can to you
Suddenly every part of me needs to know every part of you

Suddenly you’re seeing me just the way I am
Suddenly you’re hearing me
So I’m talking just as fast as I can to you

Suddenly, awkwardly
You’re all I want, all I need you to be
Suddenly every part of me needs to know every part of you
Just you, it’s you

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My version of “Suddenly” came to light some years ago when first embarked upon my counselling journey… I promised myself that I wouldn’t go through my studies alone; I knew who the real me was… I knew that I preferred to go things alone… simply for the ease of doing so and to avoid the politics of communal groups, I have always done things on my own, most often than not I preferred to work alone but I made a deal with myself that I would find myself a study partner who I would occasionally converse with. A person who I could occasionally swap thoughts and ideas with.

A month into my counselling studies I met Tess… a Mum of 5 who was engaged to be married to the love of her life Corey. She was looking for a little bit if a guiding hand and also had the dislike for small minds and loudmouths in a small group overtaking and or taking on leadership roles that change the dynamics of a group as a whole and change the opinions of the individuals within the group situation.

We had an instant rapport, helping each other to understand the misguiding questions and the difference in our views.

Tess has children with Autism, they are lovely in every way…. but often they would get frustrated when they couldn’t get out what they wanted to say… of course our studies became secondary as we began to talk of our children and although I believe we all learn differently I feel that how we communicate is the very obstacle in our way. Children don’t want to be remarkable, they certainly don’t want to be left behind but some of our children they are left to find their way.

The song “Suddenly” began to play and I knew it was a thought to be had, the words were no sung so clearly as I stopped to hear them play, I heard a different tune and the words were no longer the same.

In my moment of thought I had to say to Tess, young Ella wants you to hear something, she has something worthwhile being said, as Tess sat and listened she told me that she too could hear the song suddenly your hearing me, being re-written… singing proudly… “oh Mumma I have something to say… and although you cannot always clearly hear me… and sometimes it takes a little more attention on your behalf to hear me… I know what I want to say… and Mr Anderson’s song is showing me the way.”

I believe deeply that children with disabilities such as autism are very capable of going through their day and through their lives with the greatest adaptive skills… they are certainly the 8th wonder of this world that keeps us as parents or even us as citizens of our world in wonderment of how beautiful our children and their innocent adaptive abilities truly are.

I believe that children who can not always find their way through the barriers of communication are saying the following to the very people who give them the gift of learning through different strengths: –

Here is a note “ Written Through The Eyes Of Ella For Her Mum Tess. ”
Ella may not have spoken these words but she spoke to me through her eyes and heart when sitting at her Mums computer as I spoke with her, I simply wrote out the words that she was screaming through her verballing queues; in hope that she would be heard. “Tess Later told me that they She & Ella Listened to Suddenly every night before bed… Ella singing the words in her own mumbledness.”

You only had one want;

And that was to see my smile…

I came into your life and lit up your world

Beautiful eyes looking back at you

I was your life and piece of joy.

But suddenly all wasn’t right;

What once was perfect,

A delicate beauty

And a gift from God;

Turned your blue eyes grey.

Your heart ached,

And I could feel you cry.

You looked at me and wondered why

How could the ground open up and crumble you down?

But surely you had to know

That your love wasn’t all in vain?

Some days passed like a whirlwind in the sky

The nights were dark

And the days were so bright.

Despite your questions dear Mumma

I continued to thrive…

The news came “I was not the same”

My limitations would set me aside…

The news was heartbreaking…

I would struggle to reach my milestones

And I would need

Extra help to get through school.

My dearest Mumma…

Again you cried out of fear for my tomorrow’s.

But Mumma there is a reason why you are mine

I was given to you to help you shine

You have a heart that’s open wide

Full of love and open arms

I became your teacher

A teacher of strength and perseverance

I was given to you

For you to teach and empower.

My dearest Mumma

Today I will grow my skills

And Tomorrow I will stand tall

In the eyes of my diversity

In the glory of my learnings

Grinning happily at those who once scoffed at me, applauding you, for your generosity,

For your open arms and the in your mind.

You will show your true self

Through your smile and resolve.

But until then my Mumma,

I beg of you to hear me…

I Will push through the negativity

And even harder through them closed minds.

I will stand in the gaps of them closing doors

Asking for nothing more but a chance to learn

I will show them, Mumma

Just you wait and see.

But my dearest Mummy…

It’s for you I yearn to show

How I will turn your heartfelt tears

Into tears of joy

When suddenly you will realise

That through your strength and empowerment

And all that I will have learned

That I will promise to dry up your tears

And light up your sky’s

You my Mumma

not only have you given me life

You, my mummy, have given me much more;

You have gifted me strength that will see me past the taunting and through the closing doors

But most importantly

My beautiful mum

You have taught me talk and have taught me words the words to push away the harsh criticisms.

For now at this moment

All I have to give

Is the promise of a brighter tomorrow;

And the promise that I will become all that I can

I will make you proud

Just wait and see!

Right now at this moment, I write you this message

Gratitude from my heart

Telling you that I am forever in your debt…

Thanks, Mumma for “suddenly hearing me… and excepting me for who I am

for loving me unconditionally…

For giving me the time that I needed to show you

That I am like all those other kids

I may have been made different

But someday I will make you proud.

Written For Tess
Through & From Her Daughter Ella

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So after writing Ella’s letter to her Mumma Tess, 
A letter that Tess sat & read along side and out loud to Ella… I sat for sometime and reinterpreted Angry Anderson Song Suddenly.

I began to rewrite the lyrical words of “Suddenly. “Re-Interpreted for Ella & For “The Worlds Children Who Are Living With Difference – Striving Each Day To Be Heard, Crying Out For Someone To Hear Them – screaming as loud as they can
” I May Communicate & Act Differently But Inside I Have Much To Say “

Below is my interpretation of Angry Anderson’s Song Suddenly. A dedication to my Tasmanian friends and their special Daughter Ella.

Ella drew the tears out of me & gave my worldly problems a new perspective; showing me that through the innocent eyes of a child that she was able to light the way through her problems and bring forth a smile that would light up the world.

I only dreamed that I would find,

Mumma who’s love

Was built around an open mind

A Mumma with open arms and love abound

Full of strength to let me shine

And I am glad that you are my Mumma

And I am glad that It is you that I have found.

I know you get sad

And I know that you hurt hard

But give me the chance

To talk and walk… please let me run through your boundless time…

Letting me fly, letting me be free…

Mumma, Suddenly you are the one

Who see’s me just the way I am

I know you’re hearing me

And I am learning just as fast as I can

Just give me a chance

To spread my wings

I will show you

That I will thrive.

But until the day

That you see the best in me

Every part me; knows that you are loving me

You bring me contentment

And my strength to thrive.

You see the real me and I know that you’re the key,

You have switched me on and empowered me, Thrusting me forward

To be the best that I can be…

You are my backbone and you are my magic

Someday soon

I will be thanking you…

for your times of struggle

And for the many hours that you didn’t give up

I hope someday I hope that you will find

The strength to smile…

For someday soon you will see

That yesterday’s worries

Will be my blueprint for the future of my tomorrows.

Suddenly and someday Mumma

I will be all but grown

Today’s woes will be tomorrow’s wows

I will make you proud

I will make you smile

Thank you, Mumma,

For Suddenly showing me;

who I am and who can be.

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Dedicated To Ella & Her Mum Tess As well As All The Children Around The World Who Show Us Through Difference That We As Human Beings Have A Lot To Learn When Listening To A Children Who Can Not Communicate Like We Can…

Signed
Author. Tanya Kelly
365daysomethings.wordpress.com