Day # 25 – Am I Introverted or Extroverted?


Would you describe yourself as introverted or extroverted? Do you feel you are fully one or the other or do you fall somewhere on a spectrum? How do you feel this classification affects your day-to-day life and preferences?

In answering this question I would consider myself to be an introvert – I am at home within myself and in most occasions prefer the company of myself.

I would much rather be in a crowd of like-minded or known to me people than a group of people who are social butterfly’s fluttering from person to person going in and out of small talk conversations, offering very little but social connections to a conversation.

I can think of nothing worse than watching and or hearing how people change their morals, values or even communication styles in order to simply fit in or keep up the in the crowd.

Everyone has a desire to fit in in, no one wants to be left out or even to be seen as being socially ill-equipped… or without friends; it can be social suicide if you cannot mix it with every crowd that you find yourself in, But on the other hand being seen as a person who is ok within their own comfort and social group is far more refreshing.

Personal experience in the big wide world has shown me that I have been known to fit in no matter the crowd… So the question posed is; Do you feel you are fully one or the other or do you fall somewhere on a spectrum? I think that although I see myself as introverted I feel that I can hold a conversation and the attention of most social groups. When I do find myself in a group of extroverted people I am able to hold my own and am even able to take a lead roll in teaching, talking or sharing with others my thoughts, feelings and experiences.

My biggest fail of being an introvert is that I have a natural ability to sniff out fake and or the people who act as though they have a person known knowledge on certain conversations when they are clearly able to use the “fake it till you make it stance.”

As an introvert, I am constantly aware of who is and who doesn’t fit in with the group or audiences that they are trying to converse with. I am able to sit and observe people from the opposite side of the room and rely on my sixth sense to filter out who the rooms powerhouse people are and who in the room is a fish out of the water.

My ability to see from observation the social successes and social fails of others is both a good and a bad thing.

Good because I am able to see who the people are that are in the room that I could see myself talking with.. & in reference to the bad; at times I am aware that I would socially exclude myself from those who I wouldn’t mix with or which people my personality would not dwell to well with.

The question that is now pending is “ How do you feel this classification affects your day-to-day life and preferences?” Is this… Social exclusion is a practice that I often find myself in, I in most cases would find myself preferring to talk with the lonesome person sitting in the corner then the social butterfly flighting around the room from person to person but inadvertently offering a social element to a conversation rather than a knowledgeable connection to a conversation.

So I guess what I am saying id this; I would rather find myself in the midst of a conversation with a person who offers up a conversation with depth and knowledge than to be in a room with a most social person having a conversation that lacks any connection to a conversation.

I have often observed that the social light of the room is always seeking the attention of others and isn’t at all happy if they are not seen as the social identities of the evening. I non-social light has no premise to look to and are there to gain knowledge from others… I have somewhat of a preconceived notion the quiet lonesome corner sitter is the who often has the most to offer to a conversation and that the social light can come across to me as being shallow and of little content or value.

I am aware that my above observations are not always the given outcomes to social gathering or conversations but it is my preference to stick with my inner sixth sense and learn from observing body language and behaviours of the other people in the room ii feel that they would give me more substance and content to any given conversation.

Personally, I am able to see in a crowd of others the ideal person that I would prefer to speak with; singling them out of a crowded of people … I say that my sixth sense of knowing who my ideal crowd would be is a fail because at times I am aware of the preconceived notions that I hold and I am also aware that I am not always the most sociable person in the room, that I much prefer a conversation being built on mutual respect and substance of a conversation rather building a relationship that may offer no real substance or connection.

There are times, however, when I find myself out of my depth of a given group and instead of running away to find myself on my wavelength
I have learned the skills of faking it till I make it, wide-eyed curiosity full of questions that help to build on my knowledge and understanding of the subject in question.

So in a nutshell… I am an introvert who has the ability to adapted to her surroundings, offering up both substance to a conversation in a non-social light group. and the social etiquette of the groups that a social quality to them. I am able to hold my own in all conversations and social groups, but at times I just prefer not to be popular or in need for friendships that offer little to no context to my conversations.

I am drawn to a group who exhibits an introverted context of a relationship rather than a relationship that is of a social context – I prefer a clever mind over a friendship that may not be on my wavelength any day.

Author. Tanya Kelly
Copyrighted By Tanya Kelly. 2018


4 thoughts on “Day # 25 – Am I Introverted or Extroverted?

  1. Tanya,

    So much of what you write is what I experience. I would not say I am shy, but rather selective with whom I spend my time. I am definitely an introvert and will always choose a small gathering over a big social event.

    My favorite Henry David Thoreau quote is “I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.” It was the first quote I ever turned into a poster and hung in my room growing up.

    But again I do not care for labels. I took so many of those personality tests in my career and saw how easily businesses categorized and limited people because of these tests. I prefer time and conversation to really get to know someone.

    Nice thought-provoking post. Thank you.


    • Labels indeed stick us in pigeon holes… i never needed personality tests to me that i was introverted I was..

      I have always been a person who would tather a book over a crowd of silly girls chatting on..

      How similar many of us are …

      Ty for your message dear Maggie


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